


Alone With You

by outoftheashes



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Escorts, Angelic Grace, Bottom Castiel, Bottom Sam, Collars, Coming In Pants, Consentacles, Divorced Dean Winchester, Drunk Dean Winchester, Escort Dean Winchester, Escort Sam Winchester, Escort Service, First Time, First Time for Everything Fest, Flirty Dean Winchester, Grace Kink, Grace Sex, Implied Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Minor Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Multi, Overprotective Dean Winchester, POV Castiel, Past Relationship(s), Premature Ejaculation, Rope Bondage, Sastiel Big Bang, Sex Worker Dean Winchester, Sex Worker Sam Winchester, Sexual Frustration, Sexual Tension, Shibari, Switch Castiel, Switch Sam Winchester, Switching, Tentacle Sex, Top Castiel, Top Sam Winchester, Touch-Starved Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-09 01:28:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14706530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/outoftheashes/pseuds/outoftheashes
Summary: Cas has been a single parent since Jack was a baby. He can’t remember the last time he was touched by someone outside of family or work. Frankly, a part of him doesn't want to be touched. It means developing a connection and it's not something Cas thinks he can risk, not with a human. Not until he meets an escort named Sam.Will Cas and Sam have a chance to connect beyond a professional relationship? Or will it all crash and burn from past trauma and Dean’s determination to protect Sam at all costs?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AnOddSock](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnOddSock/gifts), [Wearingdeantoprom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wearingdeantoprom/gifts), [AzrielRose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AzrielRose/gifts), [robotsnchicks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/robotsnchicks/gifts).



> This is my entry for the 2018 Sastiel Big Bang. I had the pleasure of working with oddsocksandstuff, who was my artist and cheerleader. Truly could not have asked for a better partner. My alpha/beta reader was Holly/wearingdeantoprom. Would have dropped out ages ago without her. Rose was another big help. I stayed up late many nights talking her ear off about this damn fic. Thank you. All of you. 
> 
> While this fic is much softer than what I usually do, there will be a discussion about a past death eventually. No trauma happens on screen, it was all many years ago, but if you think Cas is "weird" it's because he lost someone he loved in a terrible way.
> 
> Just in case anyone is confused by the tags, the tentacle sex is via angelic grace in a later chapter. 
> 
> There are scenes in this fic that could be read with Wincest goggles on. If you'd prefer not seeing it as Wincest, it might be ambiguous enough you could chalk the weirdness between Sam and Dean to not learning proper physical boundaries. EDITED TO ADD: The Destiel, however, gets more and more blatant as time goes on. They start off on the wrong foot but by the end Dean is just as important to Cas as Sam is. 
> 
> This fic was inspired by my Dean/Abaddon kinktober ficlet Lady In Red. I don't consider it a sequel but some aspects are heavily borrowed from it. For instance: the type of sex workers Sam and Dean are. They service supernatural creatures, not humans. So... this is an au of my au, I suppose. 
> 
> I'm samanddeaninpanties on tumblr if you wanna chat!

Cas leaves Balthazar’s office with stuffed peppers and cinnamon rolls in hand, walking at a brisk pace down the private hallway in search of his missing brother. He rounds a corner, entering the public section of the escort house - and promptly runs into a tall, _muscular_ body.

“Oh!” Cas fumbles to keep from dropping his home cooked meal. It had been momentarily squished between him and the stranger. “You're naked.”

The tall human reaches out and steadies him. “Well, yeah. This is an escort service. I'm an escort.” He pauses, offering Cas a blinding smile. “My name's Sam, by the way. Are you lost?”

“Sam,” Cas murmurs, testing the name on his tongue. “No. Not lost but you may have squished my peppers and cinnamon rolls.”

“Aw, shit. I'm sorry. We could check on them?”

“If I let you look, you'll want a taste.” He tries to keep his tone playful but he sounds far too tense to have pulled it off.

“You caught me.”

_Oh, god. Is he purring?_

“I suppose that's fine,” Cas says, failing to keep the oh-shit-I’m-an-angel-in-a-den-of-iniquity-and-I-kind-of-like-it look off his face. He tilts his head back so he can meet Sam's eyes again, food momentarily forgotten as he gets lost in them.

“You okay?” Sam asks, grinning at him.  

_No._

“Yes. What would you like?” Cas feels a simultaneous urge to _run run run_ and to get Sam to touch him again.

Sam worries his lip through his teeth. “Everything. But I'll settle for a cinnamon roll.”

_Fuck. He’s propositioning me._

Balthazar might tease otherwise but Cas can read between the lines. Most of the time he just chooses not to flirt in return.

“You're in luck. I always make extras.” Cas opens the bag, pulls out a solitary roll and tries to hand it over along with a napkin.

Instead of using his hands, Sam leans in and takes a bite straight from Cas’s fingers, watching him as he chews and swallows. “You seriously made this? Holy shit. It's damn good.”

Cas inhales and it's a mistake. There's a distinct smell of sweat and sex on Sam's skin. It permeates Cas's nose to the point he doesn't understand how he failed to notice it before this moment. “Sam.”

“Sorry, I should have asked, that was wrong -”

“It's fine.” His voice cracks and Cas inwardly kicks himself. _Calm down._ “I wasn't expecting you to do that, but I, I didn't dislike it.”

“Are you sure?” Sam's eyes are wide and full of concern that would be difficult to fake. “I assumed you were here looking for a good time and fucking around with me but that doesn't mean I shouldn't have made sure it was okay to get closer to you.”

Cas reaches out to hesitantly touch Sam's arm. “I meant what I said. I'm not used to being this close to a stranger, which is why I didn't behave in a way you're familiar with. But I… I enjoyed myself.”

Sam frowns. “If you enjoyed yourself why do you sound upset?”  

Cas takes a deep, cleansing breath. “I'm an angel. Some of my brothers and sisters seek out intimacy. But it's… been awhile for me,” he finishes lamely.  

“Do you feel guilty?”

“No! No…” Cas shakes his head. “Nothing like that." 

“I'm glad,” Sam rasps.

_Don't look at his dick._

Cas looks down at Sam's dick and he makes a noise similar to what he'd imagine making if Sam had punched him in the gut. “What's _that_?”

Sam reaches down, caressing the metal like it's a familiar lover. “Cock cage. It's for my next client.”

“Oh. Do you have to go now?” Cas forces his eyes away from the metal, away from Sam's dick.

“Cassie!” Balthazar says, wrapping an arm around Cas's shoulders and pulls him close. The cinnamon roll that Sam bit into is still in Cas’s hand. “I see you've met Sam. Please tell me this is going where -”

“I have met Sam, yes,” Cas says quickly, cutting his brother off before he can say anything humiliating.

“Hopefully we get a chance to meet again,” Sam adds. “But I should go. Gonna hang out with Dean for a bit.”

The way Sam says 'Dean’ tells Cas all he needs to know.

_Of course he's taken._

“Before you go, how full is your schedule?” Balthazar asks.

Cas squints at him. “I don't like that tone.”

Sam licks his lips. “There's quite a few openings next week. Today? Not till later. Around 8 o’clock, I think.”

“Please, Bal-”

“Would you show my brother a good time? I'll pay double, triple, whatever you want. Maybe you kids could make a night of it.”

“This seems like a… a conflict of interest,” Cas says with difficulty.

Balthazar snorts. “Sam's a big boy. He knows he doesn't have to. I'm simply giving him the opportunity.”

“I'd love to,” Sam murmurs into Cas’s ear.

Cas doesn't say yes. But he doesn't say no and push them away with his angelic strength either.

“Give him a few hours. He'll come around,” Balthazar says with far too much confidence. Or maybe it's the right amount.

 

* * *

 

 

Cas knocks on room 10, the one Balthazar said belongs to Sam, and holds his breath. There's shuffling and what sounds like footsteps on the other side. A few seconds later, the door opens.

“Hey, Cas,” Sam says, offering him a huge smile. “Didn't know if you'd show.”

“I almost didn't,” Cas replies bluntly. He maneuvers inside even though his body wants him to flee. It's curious, really. For an angel, he really has picked up on some frustratingly human habits. “But my brother insisted that you are exactly what I need.”

Sam beams. “That's quite a compliment. He's really protective of you.”

Cas’s eyes wander and land on Sam's bed. It's large and inviting - a lot like Sam. “He's a pain in the ass, but yes. I suppose he is protective.”

“You sure this is what you wanna talk about?” Sam asks, placing a hand on Cas's back. “I mean, it's all up to you… but I can think of a few things I'd like to discuss.”

At first Cas stiffens but Sam's warmth quickly seeps into him and he melts. “I don't know what I want.”

“Yes, you do. You should say it.”

Cas makes himself look Sam in the eye. “I'd like to cuddle with you on your bed.”

“With or without clothes?”

If Cas were human, his heart would be thumping in his chest like a frightened rabbit. Instead, it remains relatively unchanged. Cas briefly takes in Sam's naked body. “You may stay the way you are. But I won't be removing my clothes… I'm sorry.”

Sam shakes his head and guides Cas over to the bed. “This is about _you_ and what _you_ need. Don't be sorry.”

“It's a waste of money,” Cas grumbles, sitting awkwardly on the edge of the bed after kicking off his shoes.

“And yet here you are.”

“Uh.” Cas gapes at Sam. He's unable to form words, much less weave together a coherent sentence.

Sam crawls onto the bed, as graceful as one can be with their ass in the air but then he flops over onto his back and sprawls out on the bed until he looks like a starfish. “You gonna touch me?”

Cas turns on his spot on the edge and makes the mistake of glancing at Sam's exposed hole. He sucks in a breath when he sees the come leaking out of it. “Do you have any hobbies?” he asks, wincing.

“Yoga. Rock climbing. Volunteer work. Whatever I want.” Sam shrugs. Then he gets up on his elbows. “If you won't touch me, can I touch you?”  

Cas nods, hating how he still feels like an animal that might run any second.

Sam moves to sit right next to Cas, pressing his naked thigh against Cas’s clothed one. Then he leans in and scents Cas. “Mm. You smell good,” Sam purrs then lays his head on Cas’s shoulder.

_You're being paid to say that._

He feels like shit as soon as he thinks it. Sam had been honest from the second they met. It was unfair to assume he'd lie now. Cas focuses on the heat of Sam's body. He can feel it through his jeans and shirt.

When he caves and snakes an arm around Sam’s waist his breath catches. Jack hugs Cas all the time but this is different. This contact is from someone who isn't family.

And it is so _good_.

“Since you asked me about my hobbies and I answered, I think it's only fair you tell me yours,” Sam says, his hand stroking Cas’s fingers.

“I… I care for my son,” Cas says lamely.

“That's not a hobby.” Sam nuzzles at Cas’s shoulder, intertwining their fingers. “How old is he?”

“Eighteen.” He swallows thickly. “Honestly, Sam… besides cooking, I don't do much in the way of hobbies.”

“Hmm. Have you ever thought of changing that?” Sam runs his nose along Cas’s neck. “No time like the present.”

Cas shrugs helplessly. “Not really.”

Sam's hand travels to Cas’s thigh and he gives it a light squeeze. “Ready to lay down?”

“I… sure. Why not,” he says, yet waits for Sam to make the first move.

In seconds, Sam's on his back again and looking at Cas through his lashes. “I won't bite unless you want me to.”

Cas stares at Sam's cock, which definitely isn't soft. “Are you sure this is a good idea? Won't it be difficult for you?”

“Why would it be? All we're doing is cuddling,” Sam says firmly. “I might flirt with you and say dirty things - but that would be the end of it. And if you’d prefer, I won't do that either. I can always jerk off if I get too into it.”

Cas hesitates a few more seconds before laying down beside Sam. Sam wraps an arm around Cas's middle and Cas is shaken by Sam's eyes. He might be promising an innocent time with his mouth but his eyes scream _fuck me._ They've seen a multitude of sins. His eyes promise any depraved thing Cas can think of.

“Feel good?” Sam asks, watching him.

Cas’s eyes flutter shut, in part to escape the intensity but mostly because he _is_ enjoying himself. “It feels very good.”

“I think so too. And, no, I'm not just saying that.”

Cas lets out a quiet sigh. “Thank you.”

“It's no problem. Just being honest.” Sam ghosts his lips along Cas’s neck. “Are you afraid of me?”

  
A small groan leaves Cas's mouth at the feeling of Sam's lips on his skin. It breaks something in him. The walls that had been holding him back. He turns so he can press closer to Sam. "I wouldn't say that.”

“I like how noisy you are,” Sam says, voice dropping low.

Cas’s belly flips nervously. “Sam.”

“I like the way you say my name,” Sam whispers hotly, breath caressing his ear.

“Please… Can you take a shower or something? I need to collect myself,” Cas asks with difficulty.

“Of course, Cas,” Sam says, immediately backing away and sitting up. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Cas bolts from the room as soon as he hears the shower turn on.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn, I must have been really hungry when I wrote this fic. More food makes an appearance! Also Dean. And quite a few other characters, actually.

Weeks pass and Cas is pathetically preoccupied with the horrible way things ended with Sam. It's bad enough he’s been burning meals. It's bad enough he wanders aimlessly around his home, especially when he's alone. Bad enough that his social life is nonexistent. So of course Jack sees right through him. He doesn't know _why_ Cas is off-kilter but he senses a difference.

“What's wrong, dad?” Jack asks as they press forward on their hike. Large trees surround them, a shield from the sun.

“Nothing you need to worry about.”

“Come on. I'm not a kid anymore. You don't need to worry about me.” There is so much genuine sweetness in Jack's voice it makes Cas ache.

“That might be partly right but I'm still trying to come to terms with the fact that my baby is now a young man,” Cas points out, glancing at him as they come to a halt. They’ve hit a fork in the trail.

Jack's shoulders slump. “I want to help.”

“Forget about it.”

A soft breath leaves Jack’s mouth. It's probably a sigh but he's too polite to make a big deal about being unhappy with Cas’s answer. “We should go left.”

“I'm fine with that,” Cas murmurs. It will mean a longer hike and Cas is quite okay with not heading back to reality anytime soon. And he's certainly okay with spending more time with Jack.

“How's Pastor Jim doing?” Jack takes a sip of water before starting up the trail.

“Worse. His family is in denial that he's nearing the end,” Cas replies. He's sad for them. He's been Pastor Jim’s caretaker for the past three years. It’s impossible _not_ to care.

“I’m sorry.” Jack sends him a sweet, sad look. “You need to get out more.”

Cas shakes his head. “I see no reason to. I have work and you. That's plenty to keep me busy.”

“You used to visit uncle Balthazar and now you won't even do that,” Jack points out. “Is it mom? Because it's her birthday?”

_Damn. Such a stubborn boy._

And Cas loves him for it.

“No. I promise you.”

It's true. She's been dead almost as long as Jack has been alive. It's hard to grasp onto someone who isn't there. A part of him will always love her but her death doesn't depress him like it used to in those raw months and years right after. He isn’t drowning in waves of grief. He can tread water without tiring. The _way_ she died, however, will always hurt and never be forgotten. It has left its mark on him.

His solace is the bastard who took her away is dead too. Cas had made sure he wouldn't hurt anyone else.

_Don't think about it. This is supposed to be a happy day._

“Good. Because… I'm looking for work. I wanna have emergency money set aside for college if I need it,” Jack admits. “That won't really go over well if I gotta worry about you the whole time.”

Cas sucks in a breath. He knows it's coming. He _knows_. Jack never held back about wanting to go to college. He decided against going right away but that didn't mean he'd stay with Cas forever. The reminder still leaves Cas floundering. “Anything in particular you're looking for? I can keep an eye out.”

“I'm not picky.”

“Of course you aren't,” Cas says, all warmth. “Your mother would be so proud of you.”

“You really believe that?”

“Of _course_ , Jack.” He stops him and pulls him into a tight hug. “I never doubted it.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Cassie, where the hell have you been? I've missed your excellent cooking,” Balthazar complains while leaning against the front desk, although Cas can tell by the look on his brother’s face it's all in good fun.

“You know where I live, you could have stopped by,” Cas points out with a raised brow. He bites back the ‘sorry’ he wants to give his brother. Balthazar hates how often he blurts the word. Teasing works better. “Is Sam available?”

_Closure. I need closure. One more conversation and then I can put this all behind me and move on with my life. I can't have Jack worrying about me._

“Didn't you leave him high and dry? He's been moping.”

Cas grits his teeth. “I'll pay you back -”

“I don't care about the money,” Balthazar says, cutting him off. “I want you to be happy.”

“I am happy.”

“You're the worst liar,” Balthazar mutters.

“I don't want to do this right now,” Cas says, rubbing a hand over his face.

“You never do,” Balthazar says. “Fine. Go see Sam. He should be in his room.”

Cas licks his lips, pushing his nerves down. “Does he… have a client in there?”

Balthazar’s lips twitch into a smile. “There's one way to be sure, Cassie.”

Cas scowls at his brother in disapproval. “No games.”

Balthazar sighs dramatically. “Not the last time I checked but that doesn't mean he's alone. You should go, though. I think he'd like seeing you.”

“Thank you.”

Cas heads off to Sam's room. There's no moans of pleasure when he arrives - but that doesn't necessarily mean nothing is happening. He refuses to use his abilities to check for sure.

“Sam?” Cas knocks gently. “I was hoping to speak with you at your earliest convenience.”

The door opens and Cas blinks at the stranger glaring at him. “You’re not Sam.”

“Nope. Dean. We're busy, go away,” Dean says, baring his teeth.

Sam walks towards them, small ropes clinging to his body in complex patterns. “Hey. Settle down. I know you're pissed but I overreacted.”

Dean pushes further into Cas’s space, stealing his attention away from Sam. He's gorgeous even though he's staring at Cas like he might murder him any moment. Dean's radiating aggressiveness. And completely naked.

“I… sorry,” Cas says, swallowing hard.

Sam tries to press closer but Dean is blocking him.

_Protecting him._

From Cas.

"You upset him. That _never_ happens," Dean hisses. "He called me the night you ran, and he was inconsolable so I made him come over. Soaked my shirt with tears. Thought he had pissed you off, that he'd fucked up. Thought it was his _fault_. So you can take your sorry and shove it up your ass."

  
Cas visibly flinches at Dean's words. His eyes flick to Sam. "I really am sorry, Sam,” he says. "I can go.”

  
"Running away now just like you did then, huh? You don't seem very sorry to me.” Dean spits his words like venom.  
  
"Cas, c'mon. We should try to talk through this. I wanna know your side, what was going on with you. See if I need to change anything. That's what you came here for, right?" Sam asks softly. He has a whip in his hand and swats Dean with it. "Stop.”

“You aren't helping,” Cas tells Dean icily.

Dean rolls his eyes, barely reacting to the whip. “I don't care. You hurt Sam. I don't need to make this easy on you. I don't owe you anything.”

“Let him into the room,” Sam demands,  pinching Dean's pierced nipples. “Already told you. Getting overly emotional about it was on me, _not_ Cas. I'm good now.”

This time, Dean yelps and steps away from the door so him and Sam are facing each other. In retaliation, Dean pulls Sam's hair. Sam gasps before a smile tugs at his lips, maybe a little smug. His eyes flick down to Dean's -

No. Cas _isn't_ going to look and see if Dean's hard. He isn't. He already wishes the ground would swallow him up, he can't handle any other surprises right now.

“This sucks,” Dean grouses, jerking away from Sam. Then Dean rubs his own ass. “You gonna come in or what?”

Cas finally realizes he'd been standing in the doorway staring at them. Wonderful. He enters the room, keeping his eyes on Sam.  

  
"Go on. Give us your excuse, Feathers."  
  
Sam sighs and rubs a hand over his face in obvious frustration. "Actually, I think you should go, Dean.”  
  
"Bitch,” Dean says fondly. It's the weirdest fucking ‘I love you’ Cas has ever heard.  
  
Sam flips Dean off. "Eat me, jerk."  
  
He can't dwell on what’s happening because Dean crowds into Cas's space. "Hurt him again, and I'll gut you like a fish." Then he gives Sam an innocent smile. "Well, I guess I'm heading out. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

Cas’s hands clench and unclench until Dean strides out of the room. “I don't know where to start.”

Sam touches Cas’s arm. “At the beginning would be nice. You wanna talk here or should I take you to lunch? My treat.”

Cas watches Sam's throat. “Lunch.”

“What about the knotwork? Should I take the ropes off?”

Cas groans. “No. Wear them beneath your clothes.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Here we are. Benny's Rocket Pizza.”

The pizza joint is small but it smells _divine._ Cas can tell by scent alone that each pizza is made with fresh, high quality ingredients. The booths are outdated and well-worn but Cas doesn't care. Cas takes a couple pictures and sends them to Jack. Afterwards, he follows it up with a text.

 _I need to take you here_.

“I know the place looks, uh, you know. But trust me, Benny knows what he's doing,” Sam whispers, his warm breath tickling his ear.

Cas shudders and shoves his phone back in his pocket. “I trust you.”

They make it to the front in seconds and Sam waves at Benny. It's adorable.

  
"Hey, brother. What can I do for ya?" Benny asks from behind the counter.  
  
Sam licks his lips and sends Cas grin. "Depends on Cas but I was thinking we should each have our own personal pizzas.”

“Yes, I'd like that,” Cas agrees. “May I have pepperoni, mushrooms, and extra cheese?”

“Sweetheart, you can have whatever you want. What kind of sauce?” Benny asks as he gets to work on the dough.

“Do you have spicy tomato?” He doesn't get called sweetheart often, certainly not by individuals who look like Benny but he hopes that's not showing on his face.

"I do," Benny says, giving Cas a little once over then spreads out the sauce before piling on the toppings. "You chose well, Sam."  
  
Sam chokes. "Uh... Thank you."  
  
"Sam must really like you.”

“I think he's just hungry,” Cas says, his eyes dancing around the room even though there's not much to look at.

“I don't think so,” Benny says, grinning wide.

“Okay, that's enough,” Sam says firmly.

Benny chuckles. “You want the usual, Sam?”

“Yeah. The usual. Ah, Cas, you want anything to drink?”

“Chocolate milk?”

“Water for me,” Sam adds.

Benny winks again. “Go take a seat. Your food will be ready shortly.”

Cas leads the way to an empty booth by the big window. He sits and stares at Sam. Sam sits across the table from him, looking about as awkward as Cas feels.

“I didn't realize me leaving would upset you the way it did,” Cas blurts out.

“ _Why_ did you leave? Did I do something wrong?” Sam asks, his voice barely there.

“No!” Cas says, volume far too loud considering they're indoors. He clears his throat. “You didn't do anything wrong. It felt good. Too good. I left before things could progress. I just… wasn't ready.”

“Did you think I'd try to stop you if you let me know you had to go?”

Cas shakes his head, eyes dropping to the table. “I was a coward.”

“No.” Sam places a big, warm hand on top of Cas’s. “You said you weren't ready. That's understandable. I'm just sorry I made you run. Can we start over?”

Cas turns his hand over so his fingertips brush Sam's palm. “Why start over?”

Sam shrugs. “I just thought it might help because you seem really uncomfortable. Can you handle what I do for a living?”

Cas licks his lips. “It almost seems like you're about to suggest we date,” he jokes weakly. “No, your profession doesn't bother me.”

“I wouldn't say dating… but I can't say I’d be opposed to the idea of seeing you outside of work.”

“I'm confused. You're not in a relationship with Dean?” Cas asks, brows furrowing.

Sam stares at Cas, wide-eyed. “No. Dean's my brother. You really thought we were together?”

  
"There were no clients when I came to see you. Dean was in there. Both of you were naked. I just..." Cas gestures helplessly.

Sam shifts in his seat. “People have commented on how close we are before. But it's not like _that_.”

“Okay,” Cas rasps. His pocket vibrates, alerting him to a text, probably from Jack. “I understand. I think.”

“So, would you like to be my friend? No pressure or strings attached. Just getting to know each other and seeing what, if anything, develops naturally?”

“I'd very much like to be your friend,” Cas murmurs.

Sam nods, intertwining their fingers. “What would _you_ like out of this friendship?”

Cas lets out a breath. “Whatever you're willing to give. I don't have many friends, a new one sounds nice.”

"I was wondering if we could try cuddling again? You ran, so I don't know if you'd be okay with that right now... But I thought it wouldn't hurt to at least ask."

“I don't know. Will your brother disembowel me?” Cas asks as lightly as he can.

“He'd have to go through me first.”

Soon after, the pizzas arrive. Sam's is about what Cas expects from someone so fit - veggie pizza with pesto sauce. Cas’s is perfect. Bursting with flavor. As amazing as it is, though, it can't compare to Sam leaning over and cleaning stray sauce and cheese off Cas’s lips with a napkin.

When Benny asks if they want to get Dean a pizza to go, they say yes. Cas _really_ hopes Dean accepts it, or at least stops giving him the murder eyes.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To Dean fans: I'm not bashing him. Honestly, he's one of my favorite parts of this fic. If it helps, Dean does experience a change of heart by the end. 
> 
> Plus - I happen to think the Dean and Cas stuff could qualify as enemies to lovers soooooo. There's that! 
> 
> Any headcanons for Sam and Dean here? Do you think they've fucked in the past? Do you think they just have a weird thing about boundaries? Do you think there is pining going on? Or maybe they've only played in front of clients? All answers are valid. 
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated. :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Cas gets overly excited. ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dean makes another appearance in this chapter! We can chalk up what happens to inappropriate boundaries. You're free to see what he does as shippy though.
> 
> Also: sexual content ahead. Once again, Sam's in control.

“Hey, big brother! Got something for you.”

“Oh? What's that? Is it pie? _Please_ tell me it's pie - or any dessert really. I'm dying here,” Dean says in reply and opens the door. Then he takes in Cas, displeasure crossing his face. “What's going on?”

Cas clears his throat. “It's a peace offering.”

“Cas insisted that he buy it for you.”

“Why?” Dean asks, hard and unfriendly.

“Because Sam and I have made amends. If I am to be friends with him, I should make an effort to get along with you as well.”

Dean licks his lips. “I'm not gonna turn down a free pizza but I also make no promises on what happens after this. Not gonna be nice to you just because you bought me a pizza… I guess I can be civil, though.”

“You _will_ be civil or you don't get the pizza. All of us need to be adults about this,” Sam says without hesitation.

“ _Fine.”_ Dean sighs deeply and reaches out for it. “You're no fun, Sammy.”

Sam rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Enjoy your pizza.”

After Dean shuts the door Sam turns and grins at Cas. “Got anything important you gotta do?”

Cas swallows hard. “Not really. What did you have in mind?”

“Need to get out of these ropes but afterwards I thought we could do something together before my next client shows up. Just gotta ask someone to help and -”

“No! I mean, I could help, Sam,” Cas says, hating how eager he sounds.

“You sure? I'd be naked again,” Sam reminds him.

As if he _needs_ reminding.

“I can do it.”

Sam smiles hard. “Okay, but if you need to stop at any point, let me know?”

Cas rolls his eyes and starts to walk. “Enough of that.”

Once in Sam's room, Sam immediately starts wiggling out of his clothes. “Sorry about Dean. He's… very passionate and hot-headed. But he's got a good heart. And I'm not just saying that because he's my brother. It's true.”

“He was protecting you. I really don't blame him.”

Sam throws his fancy dress shirt on the ground and starts to work on his pants. Cas guiltily glances at Sam’s ass when tiny white lace panties come into view, impressed and hopelessly aroused that Sam could get such delicate things on or off without tearing them. “It's not just that. This is his long-term babysitter’s last day. He won't say it, but I know the stress of the situation is getting to him.”

_Never would have pegged Dean as a father._

“How old are his children?”

“One kid. She just turned four and her name is Emma. If you got any babysitter recommendations I'd love to hear about it.”

“My son's interested in getting a job,” Cas says after a few quiet moments. “I'll let him know.”

“Really?” Sam turns to face Cas once he's naked. Cas _almost_ wishes he was still wearing the panties. “You'd be okay with that?”

Cas shrugs and averts his gaze. “It's Jack's decision. He might not even be interested. But it's the least I can do. Besides, you say Dean's not normally like this. I trust your judgement.”

“What's wrong?”

“I was objectifying you,” Cas admits. “Friends shouldn't do that.”

“Okay, for one, I'm not your typical friend. For two, I like it.”

Cas frowns and looks up. “I don't understand.”

“I wanna be friends. I also happen to like the idea of you enjoying yourself while watching me.”  

Cas groans softly. “Emotions are messy.”

Sam laughs, nodding in what might be agreement. “Yeah. But I would rather be a mess of emotions than a soulless monster. Ready to help? You don't have -”

Cas growls in frustration and walks towards Sam. “I'm not made of glass. You don't need to double check everything you ask me.”

Sam's breath hitches. “Sorry, you're right.”

Cas’s body reacts in a curious fashion to Sam’s breathing - his dick gets hard.

Cas runs his fingers over the knotwork on Sam's chest. He admires the way the ropes compliment Sam's muscular frame. He never thought ropes clinging to skin could be beautiful or arousing but it is - especially on Sam. He can't even bother to care who put the knots on him. _Cas_ gets to take them off.

“Lay down,” Cas decides, gently patting Sam's chest.

“Fuck. Yeah, okay,” Sam breathes, getting on his bed.

His dick is hard and _wet_ . The sight has Cas's own erection thickening. He crawls on top of Sam and straddles his waist. “Do friends do _this_ , Sam?” he murmurs as his fingers fumble before untying a knot on the center of Sam's broad chest.

“Sometimes,” Sam moans, staring up at Cas like he's seeing him for the first time.

Cas caresses another knot. “Hmm. Interesting. In that case, I _really_ like being your friend.”

"If you were anyone else, I'd think you were flirting."

"It sounded flirty?" Cas asks, watching Sam a few seconds before working on the knot he'd been touching.

“Yes… mmm. You wanna know what my favorite part of my job is?”

“If you want to tell me, feel free.”

Sam shifts beneath Cas, placing his strong hands on Cas’s thighs. “I like helping clients get something they felt was missing. I like seeing them come. I like it when they're loud and can't hold back -”

“Don't wiggle,” Cas says, biting his lip. Heat pools in his belly. He wants that. He wants that with _Sam_.

“Why not? Did you feel my dick?”

“Yes.” Cas grits his teeth. “I like it too much.”

“You’re way too hard on yourself,” Sam rasps, reaching up to stroke Cas’s chin.

Cas kisses Sam's fingers as he blindly finds another knot, this one on Sam's belly.

“You kissed me,” Sam says, fisting a hand in Cas's shirt. “Does that mean I get to kiss you back?”

“That's fair.” His eyes lock with Sam's as his hand trails over Sam's mouth. Sam kisses each finger one by one then nips them.

“I think I puked in my mouth a little.”

Cas winces and glances over at door. Dean's there with a slice of pizza in his hand. A part of Cas wants to run at the sight of him but the rest of him is irritated beyond belief that Dean has interrupted them.

“How long have you been standing there?” Cas demands, chest tight. The thought of Dean watching Cas kiss Sam's fingers is too much to bear.

“Doesn't matter. This ain't anything I haven't seen before.”

Cas scowls. “I'd appreciate it if you knocked next time.”

“I don't give a shit what -”

“Any particular reason why you're here?” Sam asks, his hands still on Cas. Steadying him.

Dean’s tongue flicks out to collect the sauce and grease on the edge of his mouth. His free hand travels up to play with the studs in his nipples. Whether it's for sexual pleasure or Dean's just fidgeting Cas can't say for certain because he refuses to look at Dean's dick.

“Missed you, Sammy.” His gaze lingers on Cas’s thighs, on how he's straddling Sam. “And I wanted to know when Feathers planned on leaving.”

Cas lifts his chin. “Feathers is right here. Ask him yourself.”

“Whatever,” Dean says, rolling his eyes. “Just… lemme know when he's gone?”

“Sure. I call bullshit on you missing me though. Just saw you,” Sam replies, squeezing Cas’s thighs gently.

“So much for being civil,” Cas grumbles, turning his attention back to Sam when Dean thankfully leaves. He strokes another knot, mouth going dry as he loosens it.

“He’ll warm up to you,” Sam rasps, his eyes dark. “I know he will.”

“If you say so.”

“My next client likes plugs. Wanna help me choose one?” Sam purrs.

The purring goes straight to Cas’s cock. Or maybe it's Sam's words. “That can be arranged.”

Too soon, all the ropes come undone and Sam is free of them. Cas doesn't want to move. He doesn't want to leave the warmth of Sam's body or the comfort of the bed. He gets up anyway.

Sam places a hand on the small of Cas’s back and leads him to the closet on the other side of the room. On the floor is a wooden chest. He opens it and pulls out a plug with a white tail attached, a thick purple silicone plug, and a comfortable looking glass plug with swirls of color inside. “Which one?”

“The purple one would better prepare you for your client.”

“True. But do you _like_ it?” Sam asks, sending Cas a wicked grin.

“I prefer the glass one,” Cas admits.

“Then it's the one I want,” Sam replies, putting the other two back in the wooden chest. “Wanna watch?”  

Cas tilts his head to the side. “Do friends watch each other insert plugs?”

“Some do. Obviously, you don't have to… but I thought I'd offer.”

“I would like to.”

“Fuck,” Sam says, voice rough with arousal. He pads over to the bed and lays himself out before sucking on the plug. He lets out a muffled whine, eyes on Cas.

“Sam,” Cas gasps. His dick throbs, so unbelievably ruined by the sight before him.

“Is it ready to go in?” Sam asks, bringing the toy down to his hole.

Cas shuffles closer. He sees the glass glistening from Sam's spit. “I think so.”

Sam lifts the lower half of his body off the bed and inserts the plug with a breathy gasp. “How's it look?”

A soft groan leaves Cas's throat and his feet carry him over to the bed without his permission. “You look lovely,” he says and crawls up Sam's tempting body, wrapping his arms around Sam's neck when he's close enough. “I’m very aroused, Sam.”

Sam moans. “I am too… although you probably noticed that already.”

“It's difficult to miss.”

“I'd really like to touch you.”

Cas swallows hard. “You can touch me.”

“Here?” Sam growls, squeezing Cas’s hip and  ass. “What about here?” He pauses a few moments before sucking on Cas’s Adam's apple.

“Yes. Don't stop,” Cas gasps, arching his neck for Sam. He makes another noise when he realizes Sam's marking him right where anyone can see. His hips press forward on their own accord, his dick now snug against Sam's hard body.

“I kinda wanna pin you to the bed.”

“I wouldn't say no to that,” Cas says, stroking his fingers down Sam's sternum.

Sam is huge. Everything about him is big. It takes a lot to make Cas feel small. He is, after all, taller than many buildings in his true form. But Sam has managed to make him feel just that - small and safe.

Sam flips Cas on to his back, settling between his legs in seconds. “I wanna kiss you.”

“Please,” Cas says, wrapping his legs around Sam's waist. He places his hands on Sam's cheeks and leans up to kiss him hard.

Sam’s wicked tongue drags over Cas’s lips before kissing him hard again. “I could kiss you for hours.”

“Oh fuck,” Cas groans, letting Sam in. He's _greedy_ for it. Feels drunk on Sam's attention. In seconds, Cas is arching off the bed and coming in his pants, Sam's name on his lips. The lights in the room flicker from the intensity of his orgasm. 

Sam pulls back slightly, staring down at Cas, wide-eyed. “Did you just come?”

“I did,” Cas rasps, resisting the urge to flee.

“That's fucking _hot,”_ Sam growls.

“Coming untouched is more embarrassing than hot,” Cas disagrees, closing his eyes because the intensity of Sam's gaze makes him _want_ . “I'm an immortal _being_ , Sam. I should have held back. I should have had more control.”

“We can agree to disagree,” Sam rasps, nipping at Cas’s jawline.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friendly reminder that Dean has his reasons for treating Cas the way he has. It'll get better! He just needs a little nudge in the right direction.
> 
> As always, comments are kudos are greatly appreciated.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy time skips, Batman! There are a couple here, just so you know. 
> 
> I don't know shit about yoga. Sorry for any mistakes. Please forgive me. 
> 
> Sexy stuff and then not so sexy stuff like fights and semi-sad Cas. Sorry for the emotional whiplash!

  
It's not the first time that Cas feels glad that he isn't human. He’s sure that his body would be a mess if he were. He walks up to Sam's home and isn't sure what he’s supposed to do with his body, how he should move. It's not like Sam is watching him walk up to the door, though. That's reassuring. He takes a deep, cleansing breath and knocks on the door.

Now that Jack is working for Dean, Cas hardly sees him. It's made cooking lonely and he's been throwing even more food at Balthazar than usual but he's _proud_ of his son. That being said, he's concerned Jack is getting too close to Dean.

Sam is, without a doubt, a silver lining. More days than not, Cas gets to see him. Even in passing. And now… now they're going on a date? Perhaps? Cas isn't sure what to call it.

“Hey,” Sam says upon opening the door. His hair is up in a bun. He looks _good_. But that isn't really a surprise. “You're early.”

“I know. Did I catch you at a bad time?” Cas fiddles with his shirt.

Sam shakes his head. “Not at all. I’ve been looking forward to this. Wanna come in?”

_Oh yes. Please. Pull me into your home. Make me -_

“Not yet.”

“Hmm.” Sam grabs his gym bag then presses into Cas’s space. “But maybe at some point?”

Cas licks his lips, trying to ignore Sam's scent. His heat. “After our session? Maybe?”  

“I have some fun ideas on how we can pass the time if you stick around.” Sam _grins_ and it's enough to make Cas’s toes curl in his shoes.

 

* * *

 

 

“Why do angels need cars? Can’t you teleport?” Sam asks, voice light and teasing.

“To transport humans,” Cas replies slowly. “Such as my son. Obviously. Also, I _like_ my car, thank you very much.”

“Dean would call it a pimpmobile. I'm pretty sure.”

“This is probably why him and I aren't compatible as friends.”

“You can be so fucking sassy when you wanna be. This is gonna be so fun.”

Cas sends Sam a grin. “It'll be something.”

Sam shoulders his bag then strokes his fingers through Cas’s hair. “I could get used to it.”

“No touching the hair. I just got it to behave,” Cas complains, batting Sam's hand away. “Get used to what?”

“Seeing you outside of work.”

“I had the same feeling.”

“Even though it means you'd see more of Dean?” Sam asks, kissing Cas’s nose.

“I would put up with _ten_ Deans for the pleasure of seeing you.”

Sam barks out a laugh. "Damn. That’s pretty smooth." His eyes flick over Cas's body. "Ready for yoga?"

"Yes, Sam." Cas follows Sam's lead, trailing him inside the building.

Sam shows his gym membership to the front desk and asks Cas if he can pay for him. Cas says yes because of Sam's sweet, earnest face.  

Thankfully, there is a room where they can practice that is separate from the equipment and sweaty humans. Cas wants to be as invisible as possible. A separate room will help with that.

He'd much rather sit back and watch Sam do his thing but he _needs_ this. He needs to put himself out there and try new things. Sam had asked Cas what felt like years ago about hobbies - maybe yoga could become one.

“Let's start with the bridge pose,” Sam murmurs.

Sam gets on the floor face up, bends his knees, and easily gets into position. Cas can't be the only one who finds it suggestive. He drags his eyes away from Sam's crotch and takes in his body as a whole, how firm Sam is. Unwavering.

“Okay,” Cas says, doing his best to mimic Sam. His back cracks loudly.

Sam slowly rolls his spine onto the floor with an exhale and crawls over to Cas, hand hovering over his belly. Cas nods eagerly and Sam _touches_ him. “Think you can stay in position for a full minute?”

“Yes. Why?”

“Because that's kind of part of yoga.”

“All right.”

After what Cas assumes is a minute, Sam strokes his stomach. “Exhale as you move back onto the floor.”

Cas obeys, staring at Sam.

“Cobra pose next. Turn over.”

Sam gets back on the floor, this time face down. He presses the top of his feet, thighs, and pubis into the floor - at least Cas _thinks_ it's what Sam is doing. Sam lifts his chest then, and Cas understands the naming of the pose.

It takes Cas a few tries before he's able to copy Sam, albeit looking a tad less graceful.   
"Mmm. Yeah, that's it," Sam breathes, scooting closer to Cas again. He feels Cas's butt, humming. "Keep your ass firm but don't clench. Distribute the backbend throughout the entire spine."

Sam's still speaking to him, voice low and addicting, but Cas can't process the words. He tunes in to his touch instead, the way his insides come alive as he lifts into Sam's hands. He is a plant in unforgiving weather and Sam's the cool, fresh water quenching his thirst.

Sam chuckles and squeezes his ass. "Hold the pose, just like the last one."

“You’re enjoying this,” Cas states, smiling.

Sam presses his mouth against Cas’s ear. “Why wouldn't I?”

_Maybe Sam’s missing touch outside of family and work, too._

“I am as well.”

“I can tell.” Sam’s hands envelop his ass. “Ready for the next pose?”

“Yes.”

"Good." Sam nips at the nape of Cas's neck before backing up. "Downward facing dog."   
  
Cas licks his lips as his eyes trace Sam's body when he gets into the next pose. His eyes linger on Sam's glorious ass before he copies the pose. This one is harder to hold.

Sam stands behind Cas. "You were watching my ass. Did you like it? Seeing me like that?" He presses forward slightly, stroking Cas's hips. "Keep your head up. Don't let it hang. Do you feel the full body stretch?"

He isn’t unstable when Sam's close. Instead, he’s steady in his posture.

“I feel the stretch. And I did like seeing you,” Cas admits. He can't lie, certainly not when he's been asked directly.

Sam hums in approval and kisses Cas's spine. "You can relax now.”

Cas isn't graceful as he relaxes and slumps out of the pose. “You did that on purpose,” Cas accuses without heat.

“Did what?” Sam shoots Cas an amused look as he cuddles up next to him.

“You wanted to see me suffer.”

“I did. Was a nice view.”

“We both got similar things out of this outing then.” Cas sucks in a breath and reaches out to stroke Sam's cheek, his shoulder. “Where I want to touch you isn't innocent.”

“Cas… I've already seen you come. You've seen my used hole. Aren't we beyond worrying what's innocent and what isn't?” Sam asks, pushing into Cas’s touch. “Touch me wherever you want. I won't complain at all.”

Cas swallows thickly. “I came prematurely. That can't be a memory you think back on fondly.”  

“It _is_ though.”

Cas’s hand inches down towards Sam's dick - that is, until he hears footsteps heading for their room. He snatches his hand away and keeps them to himself for the rest of their workout.

Afterwards, he follows Sam to the changing rooms in a daze.

“Do you want me to turn around and give you privacy?”

Cas locks eyes with Sam before pulling his shirt over his head. “No.”

“Feels like we’re making some progress.” Sam licks his lips, raking his eyes over Cas's chest and stomach.

“We are,” Cas agrees, sliding his sweatpants down his legs then thumbs the band of his boxer briefs. Sam _whines_. The reaction urges him on and he pulls them down slightly, showing off his hip bones and the skin inches above his cock. “Do you want it?”  

“So much,” Sam breathes, falling to his knees. “So fucking much.”

_He's pretty like this, on the ground for me._

Cas exposes his thickening cock for Sam. “It's right here. Look what you’ve done to me,” he whispers.

“I love that you’re hard.” Sam squeezes his own thighs, leaning forward but not close enough to touch or taste Cas.

“You having trouble keeping your hands to yourself?”

“Resisting touching you is one of the hardest things I've ever attempted to do.”

Cas flicks his tongue between his lips. “I suppose it's not really appropriate to do… whatever it is we’re doing here.”

“Yeah.” Sam places his hands on Cas’s hips, letting out a desperate noise that makes Cas’s dick twitch. “Can I have, um, one kiss, though?”

“Where?”

“Your cock.”

Cas runs his fingers through Sam's hair. “Yes. Give me a kiss.”

“ _Thank you_ .” Then Sam's hot, eager mouth is sloppily mouthing at the tip of Cas’s dick, giving him a dirty kiss. Cas moans and Sam doesn't pull away. In fact, he gives Cas a _suck_.

“Sam… that's enough,” Cas moans.

Sam shivers and stands up. “Let's finish changing so we can get the hell out of here.”

 

* * *

 

  


“So. Do you like yoga?”

“I think I prefer the touching that comes with it,” Cas says after a moment of contemplation.

“If you change your mind, let me know,” Sam replies, winking.

They’re leaving the restaurant with their takeout, bags in hand. It hadn't been the original plan but after endless teasing in the car and the gym Cas can't imagine sitting in public and listening to Sam's filthy mouth. He can’t imagine _not_ doing something to Sam as soon as possible.

“Hello, _slut_.”

It's a small reaction but Cas notices a flicker of emotion in Sam's eyes. A crack in his confidence. Sam _knows_ the voice - and it isn't a friend.

“Excuse you?” Cas says, voice hard as he turns around to face the intruder.

_A demon. Today of all days._

Cas hates demons. And not just because they're natural enemies of angels. He finds their true faces repulsive beyond measure.

“What do you want, Brady?” Sam's voice is calm and softer than Cas’s had been by far but it's clear he's not happy coming face to face with Brady.

“I want what he's having.” Brady nods towards Cas.

“No. Absolutely not,” Cas says, puffing out his chest. He feels like he's seconds away from zapping this gnat with his grace. “Go beg somewhere else.”

"Brady," Sam says, placing a hand on Cas's lower back. "You had your chance to be an ongoing client and you blew it. You broke the rules. You won't ever have what Cas is having."

"Cas, huh?" Brady lifts a brow. "Doesn't seem like much.”

Cas shoots Brady a dark glare. “Apparently I'm worth more than you given I'm spending time with Sam and you aren't.”

“How the fuck did you end up here anyway?” Sam asks. Sam tries to hide it but Cas catches the flare of suspicion.

Cas might draw blood. This had gone from annoying to infuriating in seconds. “Are you _stalking_ Sam?” he asks, enraged.

Brady waves it off. “Remove your panties from your crack. It's not stalking. We happen to like a lot of the same places.”

Cas’s jaw hardens. “You're digging yourself into a very deep hole.”

“Whatever.” Brady's eyes flash black. “So how much? How much is he paying you?”

“It's none of your business.”

Brady brandishes a wad of cash. "This is yours if you come with me now."   
  
Cas laughs. “I'd call you delusional for thinking Sam would go with you now that it's clear you're stalking him but you're a demon so it comes with the territory.”

"Cas isn't my client. He's my partner. There isn't enough money you could pay me to get me to end my time with him," Sam says, soft but firm. "And before you ask - yes, I'm still a sex worker. That hasn't changed. I just want nothing to do with you.”

"Thanks for clearing that up, fuckface.”

Cas isn't sure if Brady is speaking to Cas or Sam - and he doesn't care. Either way, this is beyond what he can stand. He moves closer and punches Brady square in the jaw. “If you don't leave us alone, I'll kill you.”

Brady doesn't stick around to see if Cas is serious.

“I gotta admit it - I'm not really hungry anymore,” Sam says as he watches Brady flee like a coward.

"What would you like to do?" Cas asks with a sinking feeling that he had overstepped.

"I just wanna find somewhere to sit and talk. Maybe a dog park?" Sam asks as they near the car.

“I know just the place.”

 

* * *

 

 

Once there, Sam points to a patch of grass and they both sit down. Sam takes a deep breath, sliding bits of grass between his fingers. “If you need to bail I understand. This is where everyone else has. So, uh. I wanted to see where you stand.”

“I'm not going anywhere,” Cas says without hesitation. “Unless you want me to. I don't understand why anyone else would.”

Sam shrugs. “Stress. Jealousy. Wanting to save me. It varies.”

“Hmm. I don't think I like those people much.”

Sam barks out a laugh. “No. I guess you wouldn't. But it's easy to say in the beginning, you know? I can understand why they got tired. It hurt, there is no denying that… but I can't blame them.”

Cas shifts closer. "I care for you Sam. No one can change that.”

"So, you’ve made up your mind, huh?" Sam asks, reaching out to stroke Cas's chin. "Because you were pretty nervous for awhile."

“That hasn't changed,” Cas admits. “But what has isolating myself done for me? Nothing good.”

“What made you isolate? I get that there is anxiety and parenting… but is that it?”

Cas hesitates, pursing his lips. "Jack’s mom..." He turns his face away. "She was murdered by his biological father.”

“Holy shit. I'm so fucking sorry.”

Cas can _feel_ Sam's distress, his need to touch. But he doesn't do it. He's waiting for Cas to give him the go ahead. Cas sighs and shifts closer to Sam. “She died when Jack was very little.”

“That had to be hard. On both of you.”

“It was,” Cas rasps. He manages to turn his eyes on Sam. “I still miss her. And I think a part of me will always love her. But we're doing okay.”

Sam leans in, hands clenching his own thighs. “Anything I can do to help?”

“You're doing it already.”

“How so?”

Cas shrugs. “By being around.”

“Oh,” Sam says softly. “You know… suddenly how you were with Brady makes more sense.”

“In what way?”

"You punched him in the face and threatened to kill him if he didn't leave us alone," Sam points out. "I feel like maybe a part of you lashed out of fear or past trauma.”

Cas places a hand on top of Sam's. “I'm not going to lie, Sam. This is getting rather uncomfortable to talk about. I'm not saying no forever… but I can't give you everything at once.”

“That's totally fair, Cas. Were you serious about killing Brady?”

“He's a demon,” Cas says slowly and carefully. “Of course I'm serious. I won't live my life as a passenger anymore -"

“Cas.”

“I'm fine.” Cas intertwines their fingers. “Really. But I won't let him do anything drastic. I can't.”

  


* * *

 

 

Four months have gone by and Cas has avoided the inevitable as long as possible. The time has come.

“It won't be _that_ bad, Cas. C’mon,” Sam says, wrapping an arm around his waist as they stare at Dean's light brown house. A fence surrounds the yard and the scent of freshly cut grass fills Cas's nose. “I promise. The worst is over, it can only get better from here.”

“Maybe he'll try to poison me,” Cas mutters.

“Good thing you're an angel and poison can't hurt you,” Sam offers in reply.

“That's not reassuring.”

“Sorry,” Sam says, and he sounds like he means it. “Joking aside, I think Dean's finally coming around. I think he's realized you aren't someone who will be in and out of my life, you aren't as temporary as he wants you to be. Therefore, he needs to make a bigger effort to understand you and grow closer to you. Hopefully the two of you can even become friends -”

Cas barks out a laugh. “Unlikely.”

Sam shrugs. “Maybe. Maybe not. Instead of assuming the worst, maybe we should give Dean a chance? If tonight is shit, I swear I won't drag you to dinner ever again. Hell, if he gets too aggressive _tonight_ , we can leave.”

“Damn you and your logic, Sam Winchester.” He lets out a long-suffering sigh. “Fine. I'm ready to tear off the band-aid and get this over with.”

They start walking and the front door opens. Dean peeks his head out. “Oh, so you two _finally_ decided to grace me with your presence, huh?”

“Dean, what did I say about being on your best behavior -”

“Hey, don't be condescending, you little shit!”

Cas rubs his forehead. “Alcohol. I need copious amounts of alcohol,” he says as he walks past Dean and Sam and into the house, briefly admiring the hardwood floor.

“You and me both,” Dean grumbles.

An hour later, they’re at the dinner table, empty beer bottles surrounding them. Dean’s eyes are on Cas, watching him take a messy bite of his sloppy joe. Cas hears the fire dying but none of them get up to tend to it. The room is thick with simmering anger and tension. “This is -”

Dean rolls his eyes. “Don't bother lying. You hate it.”

Cas sighs and cleans off his fingers with a napkin. “I'm trying to be nice.”

“Nah, you're trying to _lie._ Fucking hate liars -”

Sam sets his glass down a tad too hard. “You know, I tried to stand up for you, Dean. I thought you could handle this and be a fucking adult. Was I wrong?”

“No,” Dean says, wincing. “I'll be better, Sammy. Don't go yet.”

Sam nods curtly and falls back into silence.

The silence doesn't last nearly long enough.

“So, uh. How are you guys supposed to even work? Long term, I mean. And before you yell at me, Sam, no I'm not trying to be a dick. This is an honest question.”  

Sam shoots Dean a glare. “That's not really any of your business.”

“No? Really, Sam? I beg to differ.” Dean pushes his plate away. “You guys should break up now, before you get too attached. Otherwise I see lots of sleepless nights in your future. Needing to stay here, with me, as you heal from a broken heart.”

Cas wonders if it was ever Dean’s intention to let them eat in peace. He's betting no. _Don't let him get to you._ “Why are you assuming we won't last?”

“Because Dean's still upset over his divorce,” Sam says, but the words sound uncertain. “His outlook on relationships haven't been the same since. He's bitter and taking it out on us.”

“Don't pretend you have a great outlook on relationships, _Sam_ ,” Dean growls, slapping the table. “People like us don't get happy endings. For one reason or another it all falls apart. My concern here is perfectly valid. Your fucking boyfriend is an immortal being. What's gonna happen when you age, huh? Think he'll wipe your ass when you can't do it yourself?”

Sam's face falls and it punches Cas in the gut. “I… I don't know,” Sam says, voice cracking. “But it's _still_ none of your business. That's something I need to work out with Cas.”

Dean laughs but it's not a happy sound. It's too hard to be genuine. “See that you do. Because from where I'm standing? You're setting yourself up for pain.”

Cas fails at _not_ letting Dean get to him.

“How are you getting along with Jack?” Cas asks, derailing the conversation. Normally, he'd find it rude, but _fuck_ Dean.

Briefly, Dean seems flustered by the question, which puts Cas even more on edge. “Ah, fine. He's a good kid. Hard worker. Don't change the  subject.”

“I'll do whatever I please.” Cas narrows his eyes. “What exactly is the nature of your relationship with my son? Since you're here asking uncomfortable questions we should even out the playing field. Make it fair for everyone.”

“Dude!” Dean makes a face. “What are you trying to say? It's not a fucking _relationship_ , not how you seem to be implying -”

“You're such a hypocrite,” Cas spits. “You were angry that I’d hurt Sam, proceeded to make things difficult and awkward for us and _that_ wasn't enough for you? You had to go and hurt _my son_? Was it for payback? Because of the first time I saw Sam and left without saying goodbye?”

Dean frowns. “What the hell are you talking about? I like Jack, he's a good kid. I wouldn't hurt him on purpose. But I'm also not _interested_ in him -”

“Yeah, well, I'm almost positive _you_ are the one he's been pining over,” Cas practically snarls. “He barely eats. Can't sleep through the night. He was already going off to college, I knew I'd have to say goodbye soon, but he's moving _out_ of state!”

Dean slides down his chair a little, his posture a mess. “Shit,” he says softly. “Okay. Maybe I had a suspicion he had a small crush. But I swear to God, Cas, I _didn't_ think it would hurt him like this. And I definitely wasn't _trying_ to make him like me. He's a _kid._ ”

Dean's either genuine in his statements or he's the best liar Cas has laid eyes on. “You swear it?”

“Read my mind if you don't believe me,” Dean says firmly. “I have nothing to hide regarding Jack. I only ask that you don't go digging around for memories that have nothing to do with him.”

Cas shakes his head. “No. I. I believe you, Dean.”

“Good.”

Both Sam and Dean let out relieved breaths at the same time. Under other circumstances, it might make Cas smile at how in sync they can be.

“I know we haven't spent much time together -”

“Cas, you don't need to justify yourself,” Sam says, placing a gentle hand on Cas’s thigh.

“Let me do this.” Cas rests his hand on top of Sam's. “I know you think the worst of me, Dean. I know we started off on the wrong foot. I know you think Sam and I are no good for each other. I know you can't see how this could end happily for any of us.”

“Cas,” Dean says, wincing. “Shut up.”

“I'm not finished. I know it's more than all that. I know you're scared,” Cas murmurs.

Dean looks away, saying nothing. Sam's frowning but also stays quiet.

“I'm asking you to believe in me. You won't stop mattering to your brother. You will always have a place in his life and heart. I'm not trying to take him away from you. And I won't abandon him when he grows old. I'll watch over him. Regardless of where this relationship takes us. I promise you, I will.”

Dean's breath catches and he rubs at his eyes. “Fucking hell. I need something stronger than beer.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sam and Cas fuck. Finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Literally the most blatant Wincest and Destiel out of this whole fic so far happens here. You can ignore it if you want but it might be a little hard? Maybe? I just think it's worth mentioning.

Dean is drunk. Not buzzed. Falling down and giggling drunk. He has no filter. He wants to touch and be touched. It causes Cas to take shot after shot in an attempt to distract himself from Dean's behavior but it doesn't do much good. Cas’s mind is clear. No amount of alcohol in Dean's house will change that.

“We should get him in bed,” Sam says, gently pushing Dean away when he tries to crawl into Sam's lap unannounced. “Help me?”

“Of course, Sam,” Cas rasps, using one hand to grab a fist full of Dean's black band tee and pulls him up with ease.

“Woah, careful. I don't let people throw me around on a first date.”

Cas keeps his mouth firmly shut.

Dean's legs buckle but Sam's quickly up and at Dean's side. “I've got you.”

“Know you do, Sammy,” Dean slurs, wrapping an arm around him. “You boys gonna tuck me in?”

Sam rolls his eyes. “Unbelievable.”

“Ah, c’mon. You want to.” Dean's other arm clings to Cas.

It's odd being so close to a man who had threatened him bodily harm in the past. Someone who had been angry with him hours prior. It's appalling seeing Dean so friendly. Seeing him smile, laugh, and stare.

“Fine,” Sam relents.

They awkwardly shuffle their way to Dean's room. Upon arriving, Dean pulls off his own shirt. “Do I get good night kisses?”

Sam chokes and shoots Cas a glance, eyes wide. “Dude! You're drunk. No, I'm not kissing you. When you sober up, you'll thank me.”

“I hope you don't plan on taking off your pants as well,” Cas murmurs.

“Why? You've already seen me naked.”

“Yes, but the last time I saw you nude you weren't flirting,” Cas growls. “Or if you were we have two vastly different ideas on the concept.”

“Fine. I'll keep my boxers on.”

And with that Dean unbuttons his pants and starts wiggling out of them. He stumbles and before Cas can move Sam's there again, his strong hands as helpful as always.

“Keep your hands on me, Sammy,” Dean mumbles. “Like it.”

“Oh my God. Please. Please stop talking.”

“No,” Dean shoots back, sticking out his tongue. “M’having too much fun.”

“Well, you're the only one so you might wanna rethink your approach.”

Dean rolls his eyes. “Whatever.”

Once the adventure of Dean undressing is over, he gets into bed and curls on his side. “Please.”

“Please what?” Sam asks hesitantly.

“You know what.”

Sam rubs a hand over his face and shoots Cas a look.

“I'm not kissing him,” Cas says seriously. “Sam, I love you but -”

“What?”

_Fuck._

“I love you,” Cas repeats even though he wants to pretend he didn't say it. “I love you and I _really_ don't want to kiss Dean good night. Can you do it?”

“That's not very nice,” Dean says.

Sam sucks in a breath. “Your timing is shit.”

“I know.”

Sam’s eyes bore into Cas for a few uncomfortable seconds then walks over to his brother and leans down so he's closer to Dean’s level. “I'm not kissing you on the mouth. Wouldn't be right.”

“Where then?”

“Here,” Sam murmurs, brushing his lips against Dean's forehead chastely.

“Sam,” Dean whines, offended. “I'm not a toddler.”

Sam's body stiffens, a warning that he's annoyed. “Fine. What about here?” This time he drops a kiss on each cheek.

“Better than nothing.” Dean stares at Cas. “Okay, Feathers. Your turn.”

“I won't -”

“Not asking for a kiss.”

Cas takes in Dean's face, looking for a lie but finds none. “If you insist.”

“I really do.”

Cas awkwardly walks over to Dean’s side of the bed and Sam backs off, giving Cas room. “What do you want?”

Dean's hand brushes against Cas’s. “I'd like to apologize. The way I've treated you…” Dean shakes his head. “You were right. I was scared. _Am_ scared. But… I wanna try to make it better between us.”

Cas swallows thickly, pulling his hand away. “I appreciate that a great deal.”

Dean looks like he's about to respond but then grows pale. There's sweat on his upper lip.

“Cas, look out -”

It's too late. Dean’s chest heaves, he bends over the side of the bed, and puke splatters all over Cas's new shoes.

Cas groans, skittering back out of range in case Dean has more surprises.

After the vomit is taken care of, Sam sits next to Dean and watches him eat a piece of toast as Cas touches his fingertips to his forehead, healing him. He's not taking away Dean’s drunkenness entirely. It's just enough that Sam will stop worrying about Dean aspirating vomit into his lungs.

Thankfully, Dean's still ready for sleep when the healing is finished.

“All right. Think you're good for the night?” Sam asks, rolling off the bed and standing up.

“Yeah. You guys are lookin’ pretty eager. Go have fun.”

 

* * *

 

 

Dean's right.  Cas _is_ eager. So eager, in fact, that as soon as they enter the guest bedroom and Sam closes the door Cas is on him, using his angelic strength to throw Sam on the bed.

“You don't have to do this,” Sam says, hitting the bed with a breathy gasp. The outline of his dick grabs Cas’s attention and he crawls onto the bed after Sam. “We should probably talk about what you said -"

“No,” Cas growls, biting Sam's thighs through his pants.

“Cas, I don't want you to think you _need_ to have sex with me. It's. It's not a requirement or anything.”

“I appreciate that.  But you seem to be assuming I feel obligated to pleasure you.” Cas mouths at Sam's crotch. “That isn't the case. I want this very much. I want _you_.”

“I feel bad,” Sam whimpers, squirming beneath Cas. It makes him feel powerful. “For not saying I love you back.”

“Don’t,” Cas says, and he means it. Guilt won't do either of them any good. “If you ever feel like saying it, of course I'd be thrilled… but you've done nothing wrong.”

“You're really special,” Sam says, moaning when Cas caresses Sam's clothed dick with a couple fingers. “I hope you know that.”

“Enough.” Cas flicks the button on Sam’s jeans undone.

“Fuck, Cas, when did you get so bossy?”

Cas chuckles. “I’ll beg for your cock another day if you'd like. Tonight, however, I want your perfect ass. And I know you'll give it to me. Won't you?”

“Yes. _Fuck_ yes.”

“Good,” Cas purrs, forcing Sam's shirt up. “We're both overdressed.”

“Yeah,” Sam hisses in agreement, tugging his shirt the rest of the way off. “What's got you so worked up anyway?”

"We have done so much talking. I want to _feel_ you.”

"Honestly? I agree," Sam breathes. “I wanna feel you too.”

Cas hums and moves off the bed so he can pull Sam's pants and underwear off. When Sam's naked cock is in sight, Cas crawls between Sam's legs to mouth at it. He licks at Sam's slit and opens his mouth, swallowing down as much as he can. There was still a good portion of Sam's cock left so he jacks it as he sucks him.

Sam makes a muffled noise, like he's biting on a pillow or maybe his fist and arches into Cas’s mouth. Cas _wants_ him to be loud. Wants him to let go and forget where they're at. Consequences be damned, at least for the moment.

“Yes, yes,” Sam gasps, spreading his legs wide.

Cas’s grace caresses Sam's hole as he bobs his head and Cas makes an arousing discovery - Sam hasn't been fucked today. He can _tell_. His hole is too tight. There is no telltale sign of come. He isn’t a sloppy mess. It makes Cas moan around Sam's cock. He doesn't mind Sam's job. But the thought that he might have saved himself is exciting in ways he can't explain.

“T-that doesn't feel like fingers,” Sam says, trying to get up on his elbows to watch.

He pulls off of Sam’s cock, licking his lips.”It's not. I wanted to use my grace to prep you. Now lay down and enjoy it.”

Sam lays back down without complaint. “I don't want you to use a condom, by the way. I don't want anything coming between us.”

“I hoped you'd say that.” Cas presses his grace inside of Sam, stretching him gently. “I know Balthazar vets clients and sex workers. There is no worry of disease. He has a witch or two on site as well, if I recall correctly.”

“Y-yeah. He does. Rowena is a huge help. I like her,” Sam pants, squirming, like he's not sure what to do with what’s inside him. “What’s with the tentacles?”

Cas grins, slow and dirty. “Should I manifest my grace into something else? Fingers? Dicks?”

“No. It's… it's good the way it is. A little weird but not bad.”

“All right.” Cas kisses and swipes his tongue along the edges of Sam's stretched hole.

Sam jerks, a loud moan escaping him. “ _Fuck_ . _Cas_.”

Cas pulls back, feeling devious as his grace spreads Sam further apart. “Yes?”

“What if Dean can hear all of this? You don't care?”

"If you are concerned about your brother hearing then I suggest you try to be quiet,” Cas tells Sam sweetly.

Sam whimpers, opening his legs wider. “I bet you want him to hear. Kinkier than you look.”

His grace vibrates against Sam's prostate.  “I like making you feel good.”

“Come on,” Sam says, trying his best to hold back his desperation but it's there, simmering. “Gimme your dick already. I'm ready.”

Cas shakes his head then kisses Sam's hip bones. “I don't think so.”

“You're so calm and in control? How?”

Cas scoots lower and leaves a trail of love bites on Sam's inner thighs. He pushes more grace inside Sam. “I'm holding myself back.”

“Why are you holding yourself back? Don't you think ruining me would be even better?”

Cas licks his lips and a lone tendril of grace finds Sam’s dick, toying with the head. "If I let go, I will end up ravishing you and it will be over all too soon. I’d prefer to draw out our first time."  
  
_And make you beg for it. I want to tease you every step of the way._

Sam flicks his tongue out between his teeth. "You sure? I could probably come untouched from being ravished.”   

"I’ll have to save that for another time."  He’s still fucking Sam with his grace at a maddeningly slow pace.

“Maybe I'll ravish _you_.”

Cas doesn’t break his pace as he leans down to clean up the mess Sam’s making on his stomach with his tongue. "I would thoroughly enjoy that. But not tonight.”

"Yes," Sam almost sobs, his dick jumping against Cas's lips and tongue. "Thank you. You're gonna fuck me with your dick soon, right?”

"Ask me nicely,” Cas says and presses a kiss to the love bites.

“ _Please_ . I need all of you. _Please_ , Cas.”

Cas looks at that heaving, beautiful chest and smiles. “ _Better_ ,” he says in Enochian and peppers kisses all over Sam's chest and stomach.

"Cas," Sam rasps, burying his hand in Cas's hair, tugging gently. "What are you doing?"

“ _Loving you.”_ More Enochian spills from his mouth as he continues to kiss Sam's body, worshiping it with his teeth, lips, and tongue. He isn’t saying anything of substance, just marveling at what he's been given.

“Anywhere else you plan on kissing me?”

 _“Yes.”_ He mouths at Sam’s ears, jawline, and throat. _“Everywhere.”_

“I still don't understand why you're doing this.”

Cas drags his teeth over Sam's hip bones. “Because I want to,” he says, this time in English.

"Cas," Sam whines, squirming. "When you gonna fuck me? Haven't you made your point?"

He scoots further down, flicking his tongue over Sam's leg and ankle. Cas smirks at Sam. “Ask me nicely.”

Sam growls a little, obviously at the end of his rope. “If you don't do it, I'll make you.”

Cas’s dick twitches at that growl, removing his grace from Sam's body. “Will you, boy? How?”

"Why don't I just show you," Sam says, eyes dark as he musters his will and launches himself at Cas, trying to tackle him to the bed.

Cas allows Sam to tackle him. It’s more fun this way. He could easily fend Sam off but he was in a happy, playful mood.

Sam grins down at Cas as he pins him to the bed and straddles him, rubbing his ass along Cas's cock. "You've pushed your luck too far."

“Am I going to be punished?” Cas moans, snaking his arm around Sam's neck to draw him closer.

"No," Sam breathes, rolling his hips. "Just don't make me wait any longer. Please."

Cas reaches down between him so he can line his cock up with Sam's hole. "There you go, Sam."

“Thank you.” Sam slides down onto Cas’s cock with one long glide.

“You feel so good.” He moves his hands to Cas’s hips and gives a shallow thrust. “You can mark me too, if you'd like.”

Sam flicks his tongue out between his teeth. "Try again. Rephrase it."

Cas's eyes follow Sam's tongue and he thrusts up sharply. His grace happily laps at Sam’s cock. “I want your marks.”

“And I want to give them to you.” Sam nips Cas’s jawline before attacking his throat with eager bites. “You look so fucking good like this. Gorgeous.” Then his hand comes up to rest on Cas’s throat.

“So do you. Squeeze harder.” He's thrusting up into Sam constantly now, his grace sliding along Sam. Vibrating and shaking and seeking entrance. It probes at Sam's full ass. “And I might give you a little extra.”

Sam starts to gasp and whine with each thrust and obeys, putting more pressure on Cas's throat. He shifts on top of Cas, offering up his hole for easier access. "Like this?"

There isn’t enough breath to speak so Cas nods, his grace breaching Sam. It makes him even _tighter_.

“Cas!” Sam comes with a loud cry, so damn beautiful.

The light bulbs in the room burst as Cas follows Sam over the edge. Sam flinches and lets go of Cas’s throat. “Thank you for giving me this,” Cas rasps, reaching up to run his fingers through Sam's hair.

"Thank you for giving _me_ this," Sam counters. He turns his head to kiss Cas's fingers. "I've been thinking..."

“About what?”

"At dinner you said Jack is going to college out of state," Sam murmurs. " Maybe we should move in with Dean when that happens."  

Cas stills. “You want to live together?”

Sam rests his forehead against Cas’s. “Is that too much?”

“ _Sam._ I'm in love with you. Of course it isn't too much.”

"Even if it meant us moving in with Dean?" Sam presses gently. "Because I really think we should. I could get more time with you, Emma, and Dean. If you were up for it, maybe you could be the nanny."

“It would be nice to have another little one to care for,” Cas says, voice soft.

Sam beams at Cas. "I don't wanna bombard Dean with this right away. Certainly not tomorrow. But soon. Before he starts looking for a new babysitter.”

“Whatever you think is best, Sam.”

 

* * *

 

 

The sun seeps in through the cracks in the blinds and Cas feels warm and safe. Best of all, he’s naked with _Sam_ next to him.  
  
Cas is happy to stay here in bed for the rest of the day but there is the awkward memory of Dean's drunken flirting hanging over his head. He really doesn’t want to be around to deal with the aftermath. Maybe that makes him a coward. Or selfish. Or any number of things. But, dammit, just because Dean had apologized doesn't mean Cas will no longer be wary of seeing him.  
  
With a sigh, Cas disentangles himself from Sam. He finds some paper and writes Sam a nice long note. He places it on the pillow beside Sam and bends to kiss his tempting mouth. Then he gets dressed and quietly leaves the room. He stares at a picture of little Emma on the wall before turning to leave.

“Morning, sunshine. What are you doing?”

So much for no awkward meetings.

Cas winces. “Hello, Dean. I'm headed home.”

Dean points a finger at Cas. "No. You don't get to tell my baby brother you're in love with him, fuck him, and then _leave_ early the next morning without him. You and I are having a chat. You're waiting for him to get up. Then you'll leave together.”

“I was actually leaving to avoid talking to you.”

Perhaps not the nicest response but Dean isn't the nicest person. At least, he hadn't been before last night. Not to Cas. Jack and Sam adore him though. For _some_ reason.

Dean's tongue darts out, caressing his own lips. "You know, it wouldn't hurt you to admit you think I'm hot."

"Whether or not I find you attractive is beside the point,” Cas says, rolling his eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“I'm with your brother. _In love_ with your brother.”

Dean chews on his own lip. “Sit down with me? Please?”

Cas sighs, nodding. Then he trails behind Dean, following him to the kitchen. He pours a bit of cream into a cup of coffee then sits down across from Dean at the table. After taking a deep drink he looks at Dean expectantly.

“If Sam hadn't snatched you up first, I could see you being my type.” Dean plays with his own coffee cup and Cas notes the tension radiating off of him. Dean doesn't seem to be joking.

Cas frowns. “What changed? Before last night, I was under the impression that you disliked me. _Hated_ me.”

"Last night I realized that you and I aren't so different. We have some common ground despite the rocky start.”

Cas thrums his fingers on the table. “You said it yourself, I _just_ told your brother I love him. I don't have time for this.”

"That's cool," Dean says softly, taking a sip of coffee. "I can back off if you want me to.”

“I would appreciate you calming down a little. Though it would be nice to try and be friends."

"I can do that. And I'd like to be friends. Just... Please don't go? At least wait for Sam. I don't wanna be alone with him after what happened last night."

Cas’s eyes narrow, wheels turning in his head. “All right. Should I get Sam?”  

“Yeah. Thanks, Cas.”

“Okay. We'll be right back.”

Once back in the guest bedroom, he pushes the handwritten note aside and crawls back into bed with Sam.

“Cas,” Sam breathes, snaking an arm around him.

“Good morning.” He leans in to nuzzle Sam's cheek.

Sam's eyes flutter open. “Hey.”

“How are you feeling?”

"My ass is a little sore," Sam says. "But otherwise I'm pretty damn great."

Cas smiles, kissing the edge of Sam's mouth. “I could kiss it better for you.”

Sam shakes his head. “It would be weird if Dean’s awake."  

“He came onto me again this morning,” Cas says because he needs Sam to hear it from him first. As uncomfortable as it feels, they're not words he can keep to himself.

“Hmm.” Sam's mouth travels to Cas’s neck. “How do you feel about it?”

“Confused. I'm not interested. I want to focus on _us_.” Cas pauses, smiling. “I was actually sent to wake you.”

Sam's breath hitches, tongue flicking along Cas’s throat. “Dean wants to see me?”

“Yes.” Cas nods. “But, if you'd like, I can tell him you need more sleep.”

“Will you come with me?”

“Yes.” Cas strokes Sam's soft hair. “I'll admit that when I first woke up I wanted to run but I'm here for you.”

Sam arches into Cas’s fingers and it warms him all over. “I guess we better go before you get distracted again.”

They trade a few more lingering kisses before standing so Sam can dress. After running his fingers through mussed hair Sam sends Cas a nod. Cas reaches for Sam's hand and squeezes. Together they made their way to the kitchen.

Once there, Sam blinks at Dean, mouth parting. He chuckles after a moment. “That's my shirt! You stole my shirt? You little shit.”

Cas finds the laugh delicious and perfect. He can't imagine tiring of the sound.

“It fits me better,” Dean says, breaking out into a smile.

“Look at you. No shame at all.” Sam's eyes flick over Dean a few times, paying close attention to the well worn purple shirt with a dog on the front. “Guess it does fit you better.”

Cas snorts. “You would look incredibly inappropriate in that shirt. If it doesn't belong to Dean already, it should.”

“I'm surprised Sam didn't destroy it with his pecs,” Dean adds.

“Stop.” Sam covers his clothed chest with his hands.

Cas blinks at Sam in shock. Sam's supposed to be the confident one. He didn't seem to experience much embarrassment, if any.

_Maybe Dean gets under Sam's skin too._

Dean laughs and punches Sam's arm. “It's not a bad thing. Your clients love it.”

Sam's quick to punch Dean back. “How would you know?”

“Dude, I've _seen_ your clients list,” Dean replies. Then he pokes Sam's nose before turning to the fridge. “What do you boys want for breakfast?”

“Hmm.” Cas licks his lips. “Pancakes?”

Sam nods and presses up behind Dean, resting his chin on his shoulder, a hand falling to Dean’s hip. “I'm good with anything.”

“Bacon?” Dean places a hand on top of Sam's.

“Of course.” Sam buries his nose in Dean's neck, letting out a soft noise of approval that goes straight to Cas’s dick.

“Can you grab the bacon for me?” Dean asks.

“No,” Sam says, a smile in his voice.

“I could,” Cas offers.

“Bottom shelf in the fridge,” Dean breathes, head tilting back to rest against Sam’s muscular shoulder and chest.

“You were so drunk last night,” Sam rasps, his hand traveling to Dean’s belly.

Cas can't quite figure out what the hell is going on but he's weirdly okay with it. He heads over to the fridge and grabs the bacon, watching Sam out of the corner of his eye.

A few sharp knocks on the front door interrupts them and Sam and Dean jerk away from each other. “Fuck,” Dean says roughly. “It's Emma.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell I adore this chapter? 
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated. Seriously. 
> 
> How are you hoping it ends? Only one more chapter to go! I promise not to include more food, holy shit.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note the new tags. I tried to *just* make this a sastiel fic but neither Dean or Cas would listen to me. So while Sam and Dean's relationship can be seen as platonic or not, sexual or not, there is no dancing around the Destiel anymore. If that bothers you, turn back now.

Jack watches Emma until it's time for him to move out. Unfortunately, Cas can't leave as soon as Jack does. His lease isn't up and he doesn't have the money to break it. He  _ knows  _ Sam would give him the money but that's just it. He doesn't want Sam to take care of him, not with this. 

So he makes up some bullshit excuse about why he can't move in yet and leaves it at that, thankful Sam doesn't push. 

Seeing Jack's empty room is the worst part of his night. Sometimes, like a cruel joke, the door drifts open. Cas doesn't step inside. Instead, he quickly closes it - but the tears come hot and heavy anyway. Sometimes silently. Other times his sobs are so loud and intense that his whole body shakes. 

He hates living in an empty nest. 

_ I hope school is going well,  _ he texts his son. Never will he say  _ seeing your old room hurts in a way I wasn't prepared for.  _ Jack isn't his therapist, he's his son. No need to alert him to the pain he's feeling.    

Cas can take it. He has to. 

* * *

 

 

“I’m Batman! I'm Batman,” Emma squeals as she runs around the house. She’s a force to be reckoned with. She is loud, strong-willed, and passionate. A lot like her father. She loves Batman, unicorns, getting covered in dirt, and mismatching socks. 

“Does Batman wanna color?” Cas asks, breaking into a smile. It's hard not to when he's with Emma. So full of life. At the beginning stages of her life, the opposite end of what he is used to seeing as a caretaker. 

It's a lovely change of pace and puts a pep in Cas’s step when he gets ready for work, gets ready to see Emma. 

“ _ Yes _ !” Emma flings herself at Cas, hugging him hard. 

Then she's gone, attacking the piece of paper on the ground with just as much fire and intensity as she does everything else. 

Cas adores her. 

It feels wrong to be so  _ happy  _ when Jack is gone. When he's grieving the absence of him so fiercely. Guilt creeps up on him whenever he thinks about it too hard. It fucks with his head and curls inside whenever he tries to enjoy the simple things. 

When her picture is done, she proudly shows it off to Cas - he notices Emma, Dean, and Sam right away. But there's new figures in her picture that give him pause. “Who are they?” He points to the dark haired and brown haired stick figures. 

“Silly!” Emma playfully slaps his knee. “Jack! And you. See? You’re family. Daddy says so.” 

Cas’s lips tremble but he manages to keep it together until Sam and Dean come home. 

“Hey,” Sam says, tone gentle as he picks up a heavy-lidded Emma. She yawns and buries her face in his neck, little hands holding him tight. “You okay?” His eyes are on Cas, burrowing into him. Sam sees him stripped down, sees his frayed nerves and torn edges. 

Dean wraps an arm around Cas’s shoulders, giving him a squeeze. “You should spend the night, bud. Looks like you're in need of cuddles. Or maybe a little something more… uh. Athletic.” 

Cas is too grateful to argue and too desperate to be embarrassed.

“Okay,” he says. 

Sam beams at both of them before handing a sleeping Emma off to Dean, then moves in for a kiss. “I fucking love you,” Sam whispers. 

Cas isn't strong enough to stop the tears. 

 

* * *

 

“Gotta level the playing field,” Sam growls as he buries himself inside Cas, taking him against the wall. It's awkward. It’s not remotely comfortable but Cas wraps his legs around Sam's waist anyway, clinging to him. A moan falls from his mouth and Sam chuckles. “You kinda suck at this, huh? Am I gonna have to teach you about roleplay and pretending you don't want it?” 

“I’m trying,” Cas gasps, pointing to his collar etched with Enochian spellwork. “But it's more arousing than I was anticipating. Not being able to fight you.” 

As much as Cas loves Emma, he's happy she's gone with her mother for the weekend. It means they can get a little loud if they want. It means no interruptions. Not from Emma, at least.  

Dean’s nearby. Cas knows it, Sam knows it, they all know it. He hears them fuck more often than not and it isn't because he has to or is forced to. Cas is sure of it. What he's  _ not  _ sure of is why. Maybe it's normal for them. Maybe they hear each other at work and they find it comforting. 

But Cas sure as hell can't imagine a world where he'd willingly listen to Balthazar fuck. He can't imagine a world where he'd touch him the way Sam and Dean touch each other. 

He can't imagine  _ liking  _ it the way he enjoys Sam and Dean's utter lack of physical  boundaries. 

“Where did you go?” Sam breathes against Cas’s jawline. “What's on your mind when I've got my dick jammed inside your  _ tight  _ ass, hmm?” 

_ Fuck.  _

“Sorry,” he says, a bit too whiny for his liking. He already came, came on Sam's fingers while he was prepping Cas. Sam is hungry and desperate while Cas is floaty and sated. 

“Means I gotta do better.” 

Sam does. 

Cas didn't know humans could fuck as brutally and violently as Sam is taking him in this moment, punching the breath right out of him with the force of his thrusts. Cas rakes his nails along Sam's back. They bite into Sam's flesh, a reminder that Sam is his too. 

“Do you love it? My dick in you?” 

“Stupid question,” Cas hisses out, clenching on Sam's cock. 

“You are  _ not  _ trying the roleplay at all,” Sam accuses without heat. “Could always let my friends have a turn with you if you like it so much.” 

“I don't know if I like the idea of your friends being inside me, being where you've been.” 

“Cas,” Sam  _ whimpers  _ and his cock twitches inside of Cas, filling him with come. 

“You're too easy.” 

“With you? Yeah. Was trying to make you come again and you went and took me by surprise,” Sam says, voice barely there as he lets Cas go. 

“Take off the collar and I can make us both hard so you have another chance,” Cas replies, stretching his arms above his head. 

“I dunno. I kinda like what it does to you.” 

“ _ Sam _ .” Cas's heartbeat stutters. Not only is he without his angelic strength when the collar is on but he's essentially human. Pleasure and pain are more overwhelming. Food tastes different. Better. “Don't tease me like that.” 

_ What if I tore out my grace, gave up my identity, my brothers and sisters… what if I were human? It could be like this all the time.  _

It hurts. He doesn't like thinking about it. But the thoughts invade him anyway. 

“Being awful quiet today,” Sam says as he unlocks the collar. He strokes the Enochian spellwork before placing it back in his dresser. 

“Yeah.” Cas touches Sam and the stench of sex and sweat is gone. The marks, however, remain. Cas wants them. They both do. “Bed?” 

“Sure.” 

They climb into bed and settle beneath the covers, Sam's face finding Cas’s neck. His breathing changes in less than five minutes, a telltale sign that Sam is asleep. 

“Hey,” Dean gently knocks on the door. “Still fucking like bunnies in there? Or am I safe?” 

Cas snorts. “Come in.” 

The door creaks open and Dean is quick to enter, taking Sam in with a little smile. “Gross.” 

“It wouldn't hurt for you to admit you think this is hot.” 

Dean splutters and once he recovers he points a finger at Cas. “Did you just quote me to me?” 

“More or less,” Cas says sweetly. “Are you here to join us in bed? I don't know if you'll fit but we can try.” 

“I’m in the goddamn Twilight Zone.” Dean stares at Cas like he's just admitted to eating kittens for breakfast. “Right?” 

Despite Dean’s confusion he walks over to the bed - Sam's side. He leans over a little, running his fingers through Sam's hair. It's so gentle and sweet Cas sees no reason to hold back. He can't. 

“You aren’t. You're my family. I love you. I love all of you.” 

“Fuck.” Dean's breath hitches but he doesn't stop playing with Sam's hair. Sam moans in contentment, pushing into Dean’s fingers. 

Cas bites on his own lip, watching them closely. “I'm sure that can be arranged.” 

“If you're screwing with me -" 

“I'm not. Dean, I promise you, I'm not. You were right. I find you incredibly attractive. And… Sam teased about sharing me with his friends. I bet he'd have no problems  _ actually  _ sharing me. Especially if he got to be a part of it,” Cas says, voice soft so he doesn't wake Sam. 

Dean takes a deep, cleansing breath and sits down on the edge of the bed. While still asleep, Sam turns over and wraps his arms and legs around his brother, pulling him closer. “I don't do dates. So, none of that cute stuff you do with Sam. I like to keep it simple. Quality time without the big grand gestures. No hearts and flowers, okay?” 

Cas can't stop smiling. “More than okay. It's perfect.”    
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for joining me on this ride. Hope you had fun! 
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated. I mean, REALLY appreciated. If you read to the end and enjoyed it, I really wanna know why.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Alone With You - Artwork](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14801814) by [AnOddSock](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnOddSock/pseuds/AnOddSock)




End file.
